Many days gone by.. i was thinking what to write.. because i had mixed feelings.. mixed emotions.. but today.. suddenly a question rose in my heart.. were we only friends..?? was there actually any sort of spark.?? EXPECTATIONS.. as i always say are the root cause of every action. but we are humans.. not some sort of saints who dont expect n lead life selflessly.
yesterday night i was chatting to someone.. and she told me she is dating some one.. the reason she gave was like.. she wanted to give love a try.. to feel.. what is all about.. and i was shocked.. how can any one give love a try..? for me.. "it" just happens..!! Then i thought.. wasn't i also "trying"..??
but.. then i scanned all my 5 years.. what i went through.. what i felt each day.. how i came up in the worst situations.. and standing tall today. i have no doubts about what i felt.. every day when she met me.. when she sat beside me.. when she looked at me.. i repeatedly said her one thing only.. i love you.. though.. it was only in my heart.. but i believed.. language of heart is told by eyes and understood by heart only. i always thought she wud hear what echoes for her when every moment she is wid me.. but that never happened.
i realized.. it was only my expectations.. that gave me all these pains.. she might have taken me as a friend only.. she wud hv never expected me to say such things to her. i was a helping hand for her.. and she cant deny this.. i was once her nicest of friends.. she cant deny this also..
but then.. what about that friendship day..?? what about our first evening..?? what about my first rose that i gave you..? what was that lonely talks that we did..?? what about all those b'day cards with one letter enclosed in it..? what about all those question that you asked me one evening.. that still ring in my ears..??
all were EXPECTATIONS... some form ur side.. and some from my corner.. but questions still reamins the same.. i hope u can answer this some day.. were we FRIENDS..?? only friends..?
